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This isn't going to be pretty...can't even think of a clever opening line for my first Y2K golfing experience... Maybe I could clarify my stupor by giving some background information. Short and sweet - I started golfing in 1997 - didn't have much money for it - a daughter in college - a demanding business - a love for hockey - plus the fact that I live in the middle of
butt-fu>> nowhere and its a decent drive to a golf course that doesn't eat balls. That being said - my wife took up the business slack (although she loves to golf, too); my daughter -though still in school, is being very independent; I found I'm just getting too old for contact sports and my brother-in-law, Mark was so enthusiastic about the sport that I spent a good part of the spring & summer of 1999 on the golf course. I guess thats when I really fell in love with the
sport. I wasn't bad - well - that's a matter of opinion, I guess) - hit a 94 in my first real year of playing and was quite proud of myself. With a little practice, I could do this! My mother-in-law ordered the Golf Channel for me - my wife bought me a set of X-12's for Christmas - I got an indoor net, turned my paint store into a practice room & swung the club religiously for 3 months straight. My opinion was - I was
going to kill the course this year - or at least play bogie golf! I knew what I was doing wrong the year before - the wife was telling me I could make money with my clubs & by God, someday maybe I would! With a bit of an early Spring (2 weeks of beautiful weather before a major snow storm) off we headed for Dragonfly Links near Renfrew, Ontario - one of the few open golf courses in the Ottawa/Madawaska Valleys.  First tee: A bit to the left but nice distance - I'm happy with that - I can move it to the green from there. Second shot - just short - but still ok - first time using my Callaway #7 - just have to adjust to the clubs. A three putt
gave me a 6 on a par 4. Well its the first hole - have to warm up - I can feel it - I've got it - know what I'm doing!
Second tee: My wife takes a swing from the ladies tee and puts it just in front of the first bunker - about 150 yards - good shot. I set myself up - nice wide fairway - no wind - keep my arm straight - keep my eye on the ball
- shift my weight - bring the club down and hit it just in front of my wife (physically in front of my wife at the ladies tee....). OK - what happenend?! Shit! I can do this....second shot - slice to the left - another 80 yards - third shot - I'm getting there - fourth shot onto the green and three putts later my ball is in the hole and I'm ready to crawl in with it.
Third to 7th hole: It doesn't get any better folks....I lost the first two balls on the third hole and can't think of one redeeming shot I had during the rest of the play. Until the the 8th hole. I hit a beautiful drive to the top of the left side of the fairway (still slicing a little) then another shot took me within 60 yds of the green and a pitch onto the green gave me the confidence I
needed to say "maybe we should play another nine - I can still break 100 if I play like this". What the 8th hole actually did was set me up for my biggest letdown of the day - I hit a fairly decent drive off the 9th tee - with a dogleg to the left, my slice put me right where I wanted to be - then in my second, third and 4th shots I sliced into the bush -
losing 3 balls...took me 7 shots to get to the green - where I had a nice putt...go figure. So now I'm off to the driving range - as soon as they open - and will keep swinging the club until I get it right. By the way - my wife no longer expects me to make money with my clubs - while she came home with the ball she started with
, I came home sans 8 of those little round babies ... she now expects me just to make enough money to buy more golf balls. | 
